In the midst of loss, no one wants to think about money. Yet the financial decisions you make when your partner dies will profoundly influence the rest of your life. "My husband didn't prepare me at all," says a woman who lost her husband in 1995. "I didn't really have a handle on what needed to be done. My husband had always handled our business and financial affairs. When he died, I was fifty years old and had a nine-year-old daughter. I didn't know what our assets were, nor did I know how to find out. Since my husband's death, I have talked to other widows and I know that my experience is not an isolated one."

If you find yourself in a position like this woman - or even if you are a bit more involved in your family's finances, but aren't 100% sure what your next step should be - you might consider hiring a financial advisor to sort through some of your financial issues, to save your own time and energy for the other daunting challenges that you will no doubt be facing.

A financial advisor will need all the information, and all the paperwork, you can gather that relate to your financial situation, including:

* Employment

* Recent wage and salary data, including raise notifications, W-2s and pay stubs

* Employment or business contracts

* Benefit statements

* Business tax returns

* Home ownership and property rental documents

* Purchase or lease documents

* Insurance data (life, health, disability, etc.)

* Appraisals

* Income tax returns

* Investment portfolio information

* Will and trust documents

Your advisor will use this to help you understand your new financial position. Working with your advisor, you will also need to establish a new household budget. You might have to make some substantial changes in lifestyle, though if provisions for adequate life insurance were made, you will have many options to choose from.

You might actually find that you want to make substantial changes in your lifestyle, even if you don't have to. Your attitudes toward work, school and your home can change dramatically after the loss of a spouse or life partner. You might find that you want to return to work if you have been out of the workplace, or that you want to return to school. And you might find that the home you have shared with your partner doesn't fit your new circumstances.

Spend time talking through these issues with friends, family and advisors who can help you evaluate these transitions, and take the first steps.